Without the hustle of my job,
And the bustle of my friends
Without the escape of the theatre,
And the warm camaraderie of meals shared
I am alone
In my apartment of ones
One bedroom, one chair,
One toothbrush, one key
No distractions, only me
I cannot escape my thoughts
I cannot grind them with my teeth
I cannot swallow them whole
At first, a curse,
Like an animal caged,
I raged at the walls
I howled through the bars
But time has eroded the sharp edges
It has dulled the ache
It has shone light into the dark places
That i have hidden for so long
I have sat with myself
With my pain and my scars
I have read my history as a book
And studied it’s lessons
I have embraced these walls
Not as a cage, but a cocoon
A space to reflect and reform
To emerge strong, and newly formed
I have planted myself,
In my solitude and grew to hope,
And like soil, it nourishes me
I am grounded, and I start to flourish
By Kelly McAllister